Your base assumption -- that you don't rub shoulders with the right people, and thus can't get published, is purposefully myopic. There's this thing called the Internet...
Agents and editors frequently attend writing conferences, and offer attendees the option of pitching their book. During Covid lockdowns, some were online, so you didn't even need to go to the city where it's happening. Since they probably hate travel as much as anyone whose job requires it, there may still be online opportunities.
Even if not, there are writing contests judged by editors and agents. If they like what they read, they'll ask for more. This information can easily be found online.
Finally, there is the option of networking. Make friends with other writers "in the trenches". If some of them get successful before you, they'll pull you up with them. They'll show your stuff to their agent or editor. Provided that your writing is good, of course. They won't share crap, as that will damage their reputation.