We are much closer than average, simply because we married late in life. The tides had already turned regarding what was "appropriate". We laid out the basics of division of labor in our pre-nup. 🙂 I cook, he loads and unloads the dishwasher. He washes clothes, I fold them. I have designated areas that must be kept spotless. He's free to keep other designated areas as filthy as he likes, provided he can clean them before company. (I don't even go into his bathroom.) But if ANY table in our house looked as good as your "messy" one, I'd declare a victory. We're about to add 2 long-haired kittens and a houseguest. I'm mentally writing off any attempt at cleanliness.