The rude and outspoken female lead is almost a trope in paranormal romance, which is one of my favorite genres. They get away with it by making it clear that the lead is a GOOD PERSON, with an abrasive personality that is used as a defense against the world. Lots of deep point of view, so we know her thoughts as well as the words she says. If readers like her but don't understand her, perhaps you need more deep POV?