That was my point -- to try and convince people there *is* something wrong with wanting financial parity, and to try and make them feel bad about it, is definitely gaslighting. My income was the steady one during my marriage, but my husband worked super hard in the entrepreneur space. We knew his efforts would pay off at some point way more than mine, but until then, I'd support us both. That's completely different from wanting to support a slacker who doesn't do anything. I'd have been rightly upset to be taken advantage of that way. And anyone who says that means there was something wrong with me is definitely working with an agenda.