Here's the problem in a nutshell. The hard work starts LONG before the wedding. What does each person expect from the other? How will they share the responsibilities? What are their attitudes toward children, education, money, etc? My husband and I had to take a 150-question exam, and discuss our answers with a counselor, before we were cleared for marriage. We had a lengthy prenuptial agreement defining all of our roles and responsibilities, as well as what parts of our estates were "part of the marriage" and what "belonged to the family" so that there were no hard feelings between the future inlaws. By the time we got around to saying "I do" we'd put months of effort into defining what our married life would be like. We uncovered a LOT of hidden assumptions and beliefs in this process. Of course we got some things wrong, and we've never looked at the prenup since the day we finalized it. The document itself wasn't important. But the process was invaluable.